Oaky Moss Thoughts
I am grateful for the opportunity to express myself. It is easy to sit down at my computer and wish that with every movement of my finger tips, gold pours out into the key board and bluetooths its way into the computer screen, out into the digital world. Then, for people see it, strike them as brilliant and then they become envious of my unmistakable talent and foresight. That's an easy thought. Desire is easy. What's difficult though, is recognizing that desire is often bad. It's bad for me and it's bad to want to infect others with it. That's just plain toxicness. I mean what the hell? Why can't I just be content with the way things are? Why can't I wish that for everyone. A subtle (what a stupid way to spell a word... "subtle") contentment (oop... clearly slipped a moment ago... now just getting side tracked) with the way we live our lives. Be understanding that things often suck. Sometimes my life sucks. Is it because of desire? Desire for things to be different? Is it chemical imbalances that keep me from establishing some sort of foothold? Is it my perception on life? Maybe it's a combination of all of these things. Or maybe that's just how life is. Who really knows. I mean... It's hard to know if other people feel this way. I mean sometimes everything is fine. Sometimes all my ducks are in a row. I understand it can't always be like that. We don't always have that sense of security. Especially when you are as inconsistent as I am. The funny thing is... I have a piece of paper in my kitchen of motivational truths. It's about happiness. It breaks down the elements of what happiness is, like "consistency", "genuine acts of kindness", "self control", "piece of mind". I know what happiness is supposed to look like. Sometimes I even succeed in achieving it. I'll get a good streak of happiness going sometimes. And then, for one reason or another, I'll throw a wrench in the gear, sometimes just for the unconscious stupefying fuck of it. Anyways, my video uploads are complete. Better get back at it. Thanks for not over thinking this one, Mike.